BREAKING NEWS! the Rapture is upon us! REJOICE!

A confirmed source out of Mexico who is a man of the cloth, has just let the world know Jesus (Ed. please read Jesus as “he-zus”, the Mexican pronunciation) is on the way. I for one am ecstatic that this gentleman of 44 years has let the world know it’s time to repent.


According to Josamar Flores Pereira, a former alcoholic and drug addict, the date 9/9/09 had special religious significance. After what I’m sure took him many years and countless algebraic attempts to decipher the code.  This minister reversed the date’s numbers to read 6/6/06 or 666 for short.


Taking the next logical step he boarded a plane in Mexico with a can that he fashioned lights to and claimed it was a bomb. In today’s day in age no one wants to be bothered by religion, sometimes when the good word needs to be spoken one has to resort to major felony threats like the prophet Josamar.


In an interview conducted by CNN, Josamar’s wife speaks out.
Flores' wife, speaking with CNN by telephone from their home in the southern Mexican city of Oaxaca, said her husband had been looking for a way to get his message about God to the news media.


"He never wanted to hurt anyone," said Elisa Melgar, 38, the mother of their three sons and his wife of 18 years. "As his wife, I support him," she said, adding that her husband had not touched alcohol or drugs for the past 17 years. "He's a man who was transformed by the power of God." (via cnn.com)



Amen Elisa, Amen


(Ed. Please insert massive amounts of sarcasm throught this post, do not hijack planes.  I'm not sure whats worse, feeling the need to add this statement or the people who very well could take this out of context)